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Once the preserve of bearded bikers, overweight truckers and serial offenders, tattoos are now officially ‘cool’. Well, most tattoos. If you’re anything like me, you’ll have seen a lot of shit ones too.
What is it about imprinting permanent pictures on your skin that makes people reach for the big book of clichés? It’s not just snakes, swords and fire-breathing skulls either. Pretty much any activity you can think of can inspire terrible tats.
Take these ill-advised surf-inspired efforts for example. You do know these don’t wash off guys, don’t you?
Jesus Surfs Tattoo
OK we get it, you’re a religious dude and you like surfing. But did you really need to combine the two? And isn’t showing the Son of God striking a crucifix pose while hanging ten a little bit… well, blasphemous?
Rad Dino Tattoo
A dinosaur. Surfing. It makes complete sense! And just in case this wasn’t garish enough already, the budding Michelangelo behind this effort has added weed-leaf board-shorts and an explosion that looks like it’s been lifted from a kid’s cartoon. Rad indeed.
Slam Bros Surf Gang Tattoo
I have no idea who the Slam Bros are. They sound a bit like a crew of gay pornstars. Either way I wouldn’t want their name or this blurry surfer logo tattooed on my arm. Terrible!
Mexican Death Head Surfer Tattoo
It’s an interesting take on the classic fire-breathing skull. Interesting, but still shit.
Weed Smoking Guitar Playing Goat Surfer Tattoo
It says a lot about this tat that the most normal thing in it is the surfing goat playing a double-necked guitar. A weed leaf? On a crucifix? With Happy Birthday written over it? WTF doesn’t even come close…
Sun – Snake – Winged Surfboard Tattoo
Does it get any worse than this? Wow. Just… wow.
Skeleton Tattoo
If we were feeling charitable, we’d say this was a tribute to the Grateful Dead. But given that it features a shitly-drawn skeleton wearing board shorts, we’re pretty sure Jerry Garcia would be turning in his grave…
Brand Tattoos
These ones are possibly the weirdest of the lot. Why would you ever get a brand logo tattooed on you? Getting a one-night stand’s name inked in would make more sense. And on your forehead?!?
Shark Attack Tattoo
So this one’s kind of weird, but actually pretty cool. This dude has apparently lost his arm to a shark attack, and decided to turn his stump into a friendly looking dolphin. I’m sure there’s a lesson about positive mental attitudes and overcoming adversity in there somewhere…
Shark Attack Shark Tattoo
Here’s another cool/strange one. This dude’s sharkbite has been transformed into… a shark! I guess that’s a cool idea but if you’d been bitten by one, wouldn’t it scare the shit out of you every time you looked in the mirror?