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Looking for the world’s worst snowboard jokes? Photo: iStock

14 Best Snowboard Jokes Ever

These have got to be the worst snowboard jokes we’ve ever heard...

“Know any good jokes?” If you are anything like me, your heart will sink when someone pipes up with this lame attempt to break the ice. God, I hate jokes. 99 per cent of them are just awful and the ones that aren’t are too lame to even entertain your five year-old cousin.

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We’re here to tell you some snowboard jokes. Just to warn you now, these aren’t good snowboard jokes – they are really, really bad and mainly offensive towards us sideways sliders. Just take ‘em with a pinch of salt, eh? Or use them on your friends next time you’re snowboarding and you are stuck on a particularly long, slow, dull chairlift. Here we go… Don’t say we didn’t warn you. How does a snowboarder introduce himself? “Ohhhh, sorry dude!”   How many snowboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? 27. One to do it, eight to say they could do it better, and the rest to sit on the landing   What do you call a male snowboarder without a girlfriend? Homeless.

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What’s the difference between a ski instructor and God? God doesn’t think he is a ski instructor.   This guy walks into a bar and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboard joke?” The bartender says, “I’m a snowboarder. The guy on your right is a snowboarder. Same with the guy on your left, and the guy behind you.” So the guy says, “OK. I’ll tell it a little more slowly then…”   Three snowboarders are in a car. Who’s driving? The police.

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What does a snowboard have in common with a vacuum cleaner? They’re both usually attached to dirtbags.   What is the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student? Three days. On a date, what does a ski instructor say after the first hour? “That’s enough talk about me; now let’s talk about skiing.”

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Why are most snowboard jokes one-liners?
 So the skiers can understand them.   How do you become a millionaire as a snowboard instructor? Start out a billionaire.   What were the snowboarder’s last words? “DUDE, WATCH THIS!!”   What were the skier’s last words? “I think I’ll try snowboarding.”
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