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- Written by: Jack Clayton
Snow My God These Snow Puns Are Bad
Believe it or not, it’s over three years now since we served up some of the best ski and snowboard puns the world has ever seen. Now, globally speaking, things have clearly changed a lot since then but what has remained true, remained constant, throughout it all is people’s relentless appetite for puns snow terrible they’re actually really great. And so, with that in mind, we’ve decided to take a break from real-life and indulge in some more very silly wordplay. Good times guaranteed. Enjoy.
1) What do you call a ski slope when it’s angry? Piste off
2) If your ski lift Asks If you believe in life after love, it’s a Cher-lift
3) Took some magic mushrooms and woke up in the Alps. Big ski trip
4) 50 Cent took me to a retail outlet that sold nothing but short French freestyle skiers. It was the Candide shop
5) Heard that radioactive waste hit a French ski resort’s sanctuary for elderly reptiles, and now there’s Tignes-aged Ninja Mutant Turtles
6) An American rock band formed by guitarist Eddie Reyes in 1999 is locked in a dispute over who gets to present the BBC’s flagship snow sports programme. They’re Taking Back Ski Sunday
7) Which track by The Stone Roses was influenced by one of the greatest ski racers in history? This Is The Vonn
8) Hear about the snowboarder called Trav who watched The Art of Flight so many times he turned into a side dish you’d order with curry? Yep, Trav is rice
9) What dairy product spends half its time on the slopes? Semi sKImmed milk
10) James ‘Woodsy’ Woods is a shoo-in for gold in the Big Hair competitions
11) Was in absolute agony when my doctor injected me with a ski resort that makes up part of the Portes du Soleil ski area. “Some Morzine to ease your pain,” he said
12) Credit where it’s fondue, melted cheese is really nice
13) So, I went skiing in a small principality situated in the Pyrenees between France and Spain and accidentally let out all the evils of the world while I was there. Andorra’s box
14) Which American rapper gets excited by the slightest dumping of snow? Lil’ Pow Wow
15) I Love exploring the backcountry through the medium of satirical comedy sketches. It’s called skit-boarding
16) How did the Olympic medal-winning GB Park and Pipe snowboarder introduce himself to people after escaping from a maximum security prison? “I’m Billy Morgan… Freeman”
17) Hear about the Bataleon Magic Carpet that became indifferent to the idea of riding? It was snowbored
